Well, some funny graduation quotes are usually sought by soon-to-graduate students. Being graduated from school is indeed something very special. It is effectively ending the formal, mandatory education process in your life. After this moment, it is basically different paths for different people. Some people get job, and some even get married. This is why graduation is like the finale of a long-running TV show: it must be celebrated massively. There are many ways to celebrate the occasion, starting from all-night party to formal dinner with family.
However, one of the best ways to celebrate graduation is by sending each other funny graduation quotes. The quotes will make you laugh hysterically and appreciate the graduation moment even more. For those who are looking for hilarious graduation quotes, you can find literally tons of them down below. For your information, these quotes are not only suitable to celebrate high school graduation, but some of them are great as well to be used to congratulate undergraduate students who are finally getting their degree. Without further ado, here are some of the best graduation-themed quotes you can send to congratulate someone who has managed to escape high school or college with the degree.
Funniest Graduation Quotes
If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.
– Muhammad Ali
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car. But if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.
– Theodore Roosevelt
Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what’s going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.
– Stephen Colbert
It is indeed ironic that we spend our school days yearning to graduate and our remaining days waxing nostalgic about our school days.
– Isabel Waxman
Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow someone else’s path, unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. By all means, you should follow that.
– Ellen DeGeneres
Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.
– Garry Trudeau
Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
– Will Rogers
Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
– Erma Bombeck
Big pay and little responsibility are circumstances seldom found together.
– Napoleon Hill
The best advice I can give anybody about going out into the world is this: Don’t do it. I have been out there. It is a mess.
– Russell Baker
My favorite animal is the turtle. The reason is that in order for the turtle to move, it has to stick its neck out.
– Dr. Ruth
Fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class – Hope your surgery went well!
– Simone Elkeles
My dear terrified graduates, you are about to enter the most uncertain and thrilling period of your lives. The stories you are about to live are the ones you will be telling your children, and grandchildren, and therapists.
– Lin-Manuel Miranda
College isn’t the place to go for ideas.
– Helen Keller
Now that you’ve graduated, just remember: Bosses don’t usually accept notes from your mother.
– Melanie White
The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.
– Robert M. Hutchins
Don’t ever rob a bank. Enjoy life. Have fun. Choose to be happy now; don’t wait until you’re ‘successful,’ because honestly, I was as happy when we were unemployed and scrounging around for a buck.
– Peter Farrelly
When they hand you your diploma, keep moving. Just in case they try to take it back.
A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that “individuality” is the key to success.
– Robert Orben
So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.
– Bill Patterson
The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.
– Joe Girard
People will frighten you about a graduation….They use words you don’t hear often… ‘And we wish you Godspeed.’ It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices.
– Bill Cosby
The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.
– Vidal Sassoon
Parents: You will spend more money framing your child’s diploma than they will earn in the next six months. It’s tough out there, so be patient. The only people hiring right now are Panera and Mexican drug cartels.
– Conan O’Brien
Remember, when it comes to applying for jobs, books ARE judged by their cover!
– Patricia Akins
Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.
– John Green
You know, I’m sick of following my dreams man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with them later.
– Mitch Hedberg
You know that point at your graduation ceremony where everyone tosses up their caps? Isn’t it great that we all celebrate how smart we are by throwing sharp pointy objects in the air?
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.
– Betty Reese
I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
– Jeff Foxworthy
Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.
– Farrah Gray
Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it’s in Hamburger Technology.
– Clive James
If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.
– Frank A. Clark
Your families are extremely proud of you. You can’t imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
– Gary Bolding
If at first you don’t succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
– Harry Banks
Of course there’s a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don’t take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates.
– Dr. A. Lawrence Lowell
The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.
– Sarah Brown
My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.
– Norm Crosby
The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
– Doug Larson
At graduation you get to wear a cap and gown, but it’s a good idea to also wear something underneath it.
– Greg Tamblyn
Also Check: Graduation Wishes and Card Messages
Funny but Still Inspirational Quotes on Graduation
It doesn’t matter that your dream came true if you spent your whole life sleeping.
– Jerry Zucker
If you’re still playing beer pong five years from now, you may be on the wrong track.
– Eric Idle
Don’t take live too seriously. No one makes it out alive.
– Elbert Hubbard
All that stands between the graduate and the top of the ladder is the ladder.
Life has no remote… get up and change it yourself!
– Mark A. Cooper
You don’t go to university so you can punch a clock. You go to university so you can be in a position to make a difference.
– Janet Napolitano
In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.
– Tom Bodett
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.
– Nathaniel Hawthorne
I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.
– Carl Sandburg
To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States.
– George W. Bush
Famous Graduation Quotes
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.
– Steve Jobs
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
– Thomas Edison
If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.
– Nora Roberts
Get busy living or get busy dying.
– Stephen King
Don’t just get involved. Fight for your seat at the table. Better yet, fight for a seat at the head of the table.
– Barack Obama
The best way to predict your future is to create it.
– Abraham Lincoln
Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.
– Babe Ruth
Sometimes you find out what you are supposed to be doing by doing the things you are not supposed to do.
– Oprah Winfrey
All our dreams can come true… if we have the courage to pursue them.
– Walt Disney
When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.
– Alexander Graham Bell
Dr. Seuss Graduation Quotes
Step with care and great tact. And remember that life’s a great balancing act.
Read. Travel. Read. Ask. Read. Learn. Read. Connect. Read.
Why fit in when you were born to stand out?
Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.
If things start happening, don’t worry, don’t stew, just go right along and you’ll start happening too.
Kid, you’ll move mountains!
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.
Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
Funny Graduation Captions and Hilarious Yearbook Quotes
“The roof is not my son, but I will raise it.”
Cheaters never win, but I juust graduated.
I don’t always graduate, but when I do, it’s barely.
I can’t cry about having a lot on my plate if my goal was to eat.
“What if we spelled ‘people’ like this ‘peeple’. That would be funny, I think.”
– Kim Kardashian
My computer screen is brighter than my future.
“Should have burned this place down when I had the chance.”
– Michael Scott
Education is important, but big biceps are importanter.
Sometimes when my neighbor is gone, I roll around in her garden and pretend I’m a carrot.
Bet you didn’t know this was even an option [insert many emoticons]
If you like water, you already like 72% of me.
Don’t follow your dreams, follow my twitter. [insert Twitter’s handle]
I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and to whoever invented copy and paste. Thank you.
I love me a good pancake.
All pizzas are personal pizzas if you try hard enough.
Remember… The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, eat cake!
It’s not enough that I should succeed – Others should fail too.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
If idiots could fly, this place will be an airport.
“If somebody ever asks you to do something, do it really bad so you never have to do it again.”
– Paris Hilton