Chemistry jokes are probably understood by smart people only. After all, it is not common for everyone to understand something so scientific like chemistry. This is why jokes about chemistry are like inside jokes where only a group of people understand what the jokes mean. Even so, it is still a little bit of fun to read about the jokes. Sometimes, chemistry is not easy to get at all, but some of its aspect is understandable. If you want to learn more about chemistry, it is probably good to learn about its jokes as well.
Jokes about chemistry do exist, though, and they are there waiting for you to read them. To make sure you get to laugh about chemistry, here are some of the finest jokes in the field. Well, they are revolving around sciences and studies about chemistry, starting from the periodic table to the big names on the field. Even though some of these chemistry jokes are not easy to understand and maybe only those who are so much into chemistry getting the essence of the joke, they are still very fun to read. Here they are to amuse you or to prove to yourself that you are indeed a smart cookie.
Hilarious Chemistry Jokes
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking. (H204 is read “H2O for”. H2O is water and water is for drinking.)
Two atoms are walking down the street. One atom says to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!”
The other asks, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive!”
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK. (In periodic table, oxygen is represented with the letter O and potassium K.)
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.
I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon that one!
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Q: Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen?
A: NaBrO. (Na is sodium, Br bromium, and O oxygen.)
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
Q: How did the hipster chemist burn his hand on the beaker?
A: He picked it up before it was cool.
Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They have all the solutions.
Someone threw sodium chloride at me.
I yelled, “That’s a salt!”
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?”
The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, “For you, no charge”. (Neutron is neither positive nor negative.)
Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A: You may have graduated, but I’ve got many degrees.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
Q: What’s a chemist’s favorite type of dog?
A: Laboratory retriever.
Q: What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?
A: Breaking up is hard to do.
Q: Why can you never trust atoms?
A: They make up everything!
Q: What’s the difference between chemistry jokes and physics jokes?
A: Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential.
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Organic Chemistry Jokes
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says “I think I’ll have an H2O.”
The second one says “I think I’ll have an H2O too”, and he died.
How come: H20 is the molecular formula for water. But H2O2 is the molecular formula for hydrogen peroxide, which will kill you if you drink it.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”
What’s the joke: A photon is a packet of light and has zero mass. Not only is it literally traveling light (the illuminating kind), it’s also traveling light (as in not heavy).
I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
What’s the joke: “Are gone” and “argon” – which is an element on periodic table – are pronounced the same
Funny Chemistry Memes
Chemistry Jokes Dirty
Are you made of Nickel, Cerium, Arsenic and Sulfur? Because you’ve got a NiCe AsS!
You are the HCl to my NaOH, lets make sweet love and make an ocean together.
You make me hotter than sulfur hydroxide mixed with ethyl acetate.
I must be a diamond now, because you just gave me a hardness of 10
You’re like an exothermic reaction. You spread hotness everywhere.
You must be calcium bicarbonate, because if you let me get you wet, then the reaction will be explosive.
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Chemistry Pick Up Lines
We’ve got great chemistry, let’s do some biology.
Are you sure we haven’t had a class together before? I could have sworn that we had chemistry together.
You must be very electronegative cos you’re pulling me.
Are you full of Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium, because you are Be-Au-Ti-Ful.
Scientists have recently discovered a rare new element called Beautium.
It looks like you’re made of it.
You must be vaporizing from a solid state because I think you are absolutely sublime.
If I were a particle and you were a quantum potential, would you allow me to penetrate your classically forbidden regions?
If you were an element, you’d be Francium, because you’re the most attractive.
You’re a photon quanta to my valence electron because you excite me to a higher energy level.
You must have a charge because I am finding myself feeling very attracted to you.
I hear you have a great strong force; it’s making me electroweak in the knees!
You must be a compound of beryllium and barium, because you’re a total BaBe.
My favorite attractive force is van der Waal’s force. Can you feel it? I’ll move closer if you can’t.
You must be exothermic because I think that you’re hot.
Baby, you make my dipole permanent.
Your PH must be 14 because you’re the most basic need in my life right now.
Are you a non-volatile particle? Because you raise my boiling point.
If we were together, you and I would be explosive like caesium.
Baby if we mix atoms, you might just make my metal harder.
Wanna alkylate my alkoxide? It’s nucleophilic and ready to backside attack the halogen out of you.
Q:What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
A: You can not hear an enzyme.
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexics Association.
Some hydrogen atoms are standing around chatting, when another one runs up to the group saying, “Guys! Guys! I lost my electron!”
They ask him, “Are you sure?”
He screams, “I’m POSITIVE!”
Funny Chemistry Quotes
Chemistry: It’s like cooking, just don’t lick the spoon.
A biologist and a physicist got married but they soon got divorced. There was just no chemistry.
I’m a chemistry teacher. If I don’t have a solution, I will make one up.
Think like a proton and stay positive.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a factory worker? Ask them how to pronounce the word “unionized”.
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.
I’m a chemical engineer. I’m not mentioning my job, I’m simply explaining why I’m always right.
My chemistry teacher told me to write a thousand words on acid. My pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
The two most abundant elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
Scientists dream about doing great things. Chemical engineers do them.
You’d think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they’re being friendly, but really they steal each other’s electrons. How ionic.
Roses are red, bromothymol is blue.
There is no endpoint to my love for you.
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Chemistry Love Jokes
Can I be the phasor to your electron and take you to an excited state?
Do you want to share some electrons? Maybe we could have a stable relationship.
If I could rearrange the periodic table, I would put U and I together.
You must be the acid to my litmus paper because every time I meet you I turn bright red.
Babe, you shine like a carbon allotrope.
Excuse me, have you lost an electron? Because you are positively attractive!
You are like an electron and I am like a proton. And they say that opposites attract.
You are as sweet as disaccharide of glucose and fructose.
Hey cutie, let’s get together some time, since we both have unpaired electrons.
Me and you would undergo a more energetic reaction then Potassium and water.
You are such a perfect arrangement of atoms.
Do you have 11 protons? Cause you’re sodium fine.